Sapagkat Lahat ng Sustansiya ay Nasa Latak.

blabbingfreak:

 

All through time, there are “moments of truth”, when the mettle and nature of a people are subjected to the greatest stress. Then the true character surfaces.

-Commander Lapis, Viajero (F. Sionil Jose)

It is during our weakest we discover our strength, at our frailest we realize our firm. 

I do not mean to condemn you, to question your actions, for I know there is logic behind your decisions whatever your intentions may be. I am just curious, for lack of a better word to describe my need to understand you. You, who was once so resilient and protective of the organization, the family, we dearly love - or so you said. 

Why now? Why leave when now is the perfect time to prove your cause? Why abandon the rest of us and declare competition when we are at our lowest of lows? Not that I’m justifying how some people abandoned you too, left you when you were so eager to revive and bring to life those principles we claim to uphold, and used you and the values you believe in for their personal advancements - that was wrong and irresponsible, I’d say that upfront. But by leaving us now, what makes you different from those people you despise?

I am bothered and saddened but most of all frustrated. For I remember you sitting there, in the same room as I was, listening intently to words of wisdom parted by our respected mentors. Words that were so full of life, tested through the toughest blows. Words that were so powerful it fueled us to stay alert and awake throughout the training. When several Saturdays later, people were tugging and pulling us blindfolded and somebody even got hurt and had a few stitches, you were there too, exhausted but motivated and fulfilled. Looking back, it was one silly activity that we took so seriously simply because, NONE OF US WANTED TO LET GO.

I still respect you and regard you as a friend, one so dear to me at that. But I choose to stay, and that’s not because I am in debt of any pseudo-loyalty to the organization who have nurtured me so well.

I have thought of leaving too, of bidding adieu to the responsibilities I am accounted of, several times actually. You see, not like you, I failed and lost one too many times. I do not have any Molave award to brag about. What holds me back is knowing that every time it starts to cause me so much pain and frustration, I must be doing it right. This is supposed to be hard, almost always a struggle. It is never easy to gather people and share your convictions that progress, as far-fetched as it may seem, is achievable -much harder to have them move and actually do something to realize our visions. But that’s what we are here for isn’t it? To keep the fire alive, to make sure that it doesn’t stop on us, and to educate more people because if we’re not going to pass it on, our cause is useless. If we are to give in and give up during the most trying times, we can never experience just how tough we can get. 

Malayo pa ang ating lalakbayin. Kahit kailan hindi siya magiging madali, at sa tuwing mahihirapan tayo, walang ibang magandang gawin kundi balikan natin ‘yung ating mga prinsipyo. Maraming huwad at oportunista sa mundo, tanging wagas ay ang ating prinsipyo. Kumapit, manindigan, para hindi tayo lamunin ng mundo.

This is getting long, hopefully I am not boring you. Whatever it is you want to do, I hope that you let your heart, your values and principles guide you.

Higit sa lahat, Padayon aking kaibigan, kasama, kasangga - magpakailanman.

Photo: Senakulo 2011, Eloisa Francia

- - - -

I will always be a catalyst for change whether as a Bukluran or not. I left our organization but not being a leader. And I think that’s what matters most.

I may have chosen a different path but my virtues, goals and principles are intact, solid and unbending. I am not destroying Bukluran for I cannot destroy something who had already lost its very essence.

I have sacrificed my future as a doctor for the organization and the people you are now defending. They are no longer worthy of my help. I am widening my horizon. Change is inevitable. It is a very difficult decision. But I am willing to risk.

Yes, I left. But they let me go. They did not chase me coz they think I am still the Noliver who resigned hundred times, who said will leave our organization and withdraw support a million times, yet I always go back.

I am now tired. Tired for them. :)