Sapagkat Lahat ng Sustansiya ay Nasa Latak.

Re: Status last January 8, 2012

“Wag masyadong maging caring sa babae kung ayaw mamisinterpret. Thin hair lang ang difference ng pagiging friendly sa pagiging flirt. Mabilis ang pagrelease ng oxytocin. At iba mag-interpret ang babae kaysa lalaki. I protect my female friends from fishers. If we are allowed to voice our opinions and so to make judgments, whether correct or not.”

It’s quite understandable and also admirable for Mr. Noliver Falguera Barrido to give his “amicable warning” to those who are concerned. It must have been his Dorsal Premammillary Nucleus at work for having these thoughts. However, I think that there are some things worth clarifying to put things in order.

First, on the concept of caring. From Aristotle’s ethics of care to Watson’s Caring Science, it has been a long established principle that “caring” is something natural and voluntary. It is characterized by a deep desire to do everything humanly possible for the well-being of the other person and not of the agent. Yet, as pure and noble as it may be, possible “misinterpretation” will surely arise. However, troubles caused by such “misinterpretation” are also something that the agent is willing to take as a burden for having the courage to care for the beloved. To establish certainty and to satisfy intellectual curiosity, philosophical discourse on Hermeneutics of Heidegger, Gadamer and Ricoeur may aid in deciphering the meaning of the agent’s caring gestures, thus separating latent intention from manifest intention.

Second, on the “thin hair” difference between flirting and being friendly. By definition, flirting is to make playfully romantic or sexual overtures, while, friendliness is having a disposition of warm and comfort. Through this definition, I think our own sense of rationality will tell us the exact difference in reference to the caring gesture of the agent. Needless to say, the seriousness of purpose and the selfless desire to please the other person without expecting something in return also characterize the action of the agent.

Third, on the process of oxytocin release. Brizendine (2010) argues that it will take at least 20 seconds of intense hug before oxytocin will be released inside the human brain. Therefore, as long as the agent does not make any effort nor intend to execute such action, then the issue on oxytocin release remains moot and academic.

Last, on the significant differences between males and females, as a counseling and school psychologist, with diplomate credentials in traumatic stress, child and adolescent psychotherapy, and marriage and family therapy coupled with years of clinical experiences in dealing with both genders in various human concerns, I can assure you that NOTHING in my diplomas, credentials and expertise will ever exhaust the unlimited differences between males and females. I have to admit that my finite mind cannot comprehend her infinite beauty. As Freud himself said “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”

Yet, these unending differences between males and females make the caring relationship even more beautiful. So beautiful that the agent won’t hesitate to do everything humanly possible to care for the other person even if that would cost him his own “happiness”. After all, our Lord Himself said in John 15:13 “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”.

And for this very reason that I argued with you before that “love is not a matter of having, it a matter of being”.

I am not an expert on human relationships on a personal level in contrast to my clinical competencies, on the contrary it my very own weakness. And for this reason that I have to rationalize a lot of things so that I can at least cope up while my prefrontal cortex is not functioning as it should normally do under similar circumstances, simply because seeing her smile creates unimaginable chaos among the cast of my neurohormone characters (testosterone, vasopressin, cortisol, oxytocin, androstenedione and dopamine are all firing up).

To end this insanity, I honestly don’t know what to do. But one thing I am sure, she’s worth all these cognitive dilemmas and all the emotional turmoil that goes with it.

I am not even sure what I am saying right now. But again, one thing I am sure about…I am crazy for her!

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Anyways, hairline dapat yun hindi thin hair, haha. Tanga ko. Ikaw na Kuya Rocky. Ikaw na.